Put On Your Helmets...

...grab your Molotovs, pitchfoks, pig's blood, and your "Hell, No! We Want Rose!" signs, and get ready for the Days of Rage. According to Ira Winderman:

[A] source familiar with the situation warned that those writing off the notion of the Bulls taking Beasley over Rose might be getting ahead of themselves. We're talking someone very close to the situation. ...
Tuesday night, I was sold on Rose to the Bulls. After working the phones Wednesday, the only certainty is that it's going to be a month full of bluster.

Our numbers are legion, Pax. Do not fuck with us.

The Bulls Should Trade The #1 Pick

I'm kidding, but after reading Sam Smith's fresh Jermaine O'Neal trade suggestion (Hinrich has "great value"? Ben Gordon will get paid a lot? Tyrus Thomas is an athletic throw-in? Perpetually injured J.O. is worth players not named Larry Hughes or Andres Nocioni? Come on.), I have serious doubts that any offseason advice given to the Bulls will contain even microscopic amounts of sanity. Well, Sam did say the Bulls will draft Derrick Rose, but the Kyle Lowry bidding war canceled it out.

And good for Steve Schanwald, who won't be taking anyone's shit ever again, but plugging the season ticket hotline was an enormous misstep. Word is Sir Chuckles has been keeping all of the operators busy demanding to meet 'Stan' at the Wynn's craps table.

OMFuckingG !!!!!!

!!!!!!!!

YES !!!!!!

If we do not pick Derrick Rose, all 7 TYI contributors, plus whoever we can recruit from Blogabull will riot; the Days of Rage will pale in comparison.

Pau Gasol Raids My Closet, And Photographic Evidence That Veektor Can Half-Smile

Well, maybe he's just squinting.

'Big Boys' Don't Cry

Mike D'Antoni, looking and sounding duller every day. Sincere thanks to the Perm-a-Smirk's gut, because I doubt I could have handled a return to mediocrity with that sort of yap narrating it.

D'Antoni's Decision Making As Fast As His Offense

Can you smell the desperation? Though I doubt the Bulls would have shelled out $6 million per year for a coach who may have done for the Bulls offensively what Skiles will likely do for the Bucks defensively, the latest from K.C. Johnson describes a situation you'd expect to see at 3:30 am in Ty's Lounge rather than a coaching search. Patient, sober decisions have been made before.

Mike D'Antoni gets to showcase his fast-paced offense in New York, Donnie Walsh (who has a shorter contract than D'Antoni) gets to relax while the coach and system take a beating if things don't work out, and Knick fans get to see a sucky roster use more possessions. I'm "emotionally committed" already.